Her glare-rimmed glazy gaze

Clouded by coloured craze

Blackened by a burning blaze

Dreaming of distant days

Snow tucked under his lower lip

Melting into his sleep

Where his thoughts and fears trip

Down into the deep

He moves his limbs, weightless

Sees his body, stateless

Fateless

Undisturbed by the hissing blow

Of wind coming through the window

The sun wriggled itself through the closed shutters, drawing thin lines on the wooden floors, shimmering shapes on the wall. The bed was unfamiliar. Martha was alone, her body floating between the sheets, disoriented and out of time. Where was she again? Why was Paul not in the bed with her? She took a deep breath, eyes still closed. The warm smell of coffee drifted into the room. She smiled, and still lying on the bed, pictured Paul, in the kitchen downstairs, with the breakfast table laid, waiting for her. And then she remembered. Emma the new helper was downstairs, preparing breakfast for the guests. Paul was sleeping, on a narrow bed by her side, breathing gently, as if everything was normal. Soon the nurse would knock on the door, to help Paul get ready, like she had done every day since the accident.

Tu attends sans impatience que la nuit enveloppe la maison. Souffle les bougies. Diffuse un silence épais qui amortit les bruits. Tu sais le moment propice. Tu glisses hors de ton lit. Il craque à peine. Pieds nus sur le parquet. Tu ouvres doucement la porte de ta chambre. Avances le pied droit sur le dallage du couloir. Le contact est froid mais tu préfères sentir chaque dalle sous tes pieds nus. Surtout éviter la dalle descellée qui tinte sous les pas.

Tes yeux surpris, deux agates bleues

Dessinent aujourd’hui des amandes parfaites 

Aux couleurs changeantes, bleue et vertes

Grands ouverts sur le monde, tes yeux 

Qui en ont vu de toutes les couleurs 

Alice qui rit, Alice qui pleure

This might have been yet another lie. A trip to Paris to see a friend he did not know. She left a note on the pillow. “Borrowed your blue suitcase. Gone for two days, to see my friend M.”

It all started with a misplaced Oyster card which I thought was in my usual coat pocket. One morning, we woke up to freezing weather. I changed coats and used my contactless debit card. It was a couple of weeks before Christmas. 

We went on holiday with my family in France. London, the grey tube station, deep escalators and the nasal voices chanting “mind the gap” were far away.